A few years ago a friend of mine gave me an ornament as a Christmas gift.  I absolutely love this ornament and consider it art.  As you can see below, it depicts one woman who is hunched over and the other woman has one arm around her and one arm pointing up.  We aren’t always hunched over in sadness as this women is, however, each of us is usually carrying a burden of some kind.  It is nice to know that there are others gathered around you to point you back to Jesus and encourage you to stay your ground.

If you’d like, take a few moments with this image.  What are some thoughts or emotions that come?  With which woman do you most resonate with right now?  If you are more like the burdened woman…take a moment to try to enter into God’s love for you.  If you are the pointing woman, ask God to help you be an even more wise and caring woman.  You may be lead to pray other things…that’s ok.  Take your time…

I am not what I do
I am not what others think of me
I am not what I own
I am God’s beloved child
(Nouwen)

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]]> http://gemhelen.wordpress.com/2012/01/03/welcome/feed/ 0 gemhelen IMG_2738_c http://gemhelen.wordpress.com/2011/12/06/still-life-%e2%80%a2-two-minute-break/ http://gemhelen.wordpress.com/2011/12/06/still-life-%e2%80%a2-two-minute-break/#comments Tue, 06 Dec 2011 14:00:03 +0000 gemhelen http://gemhelen.wordpress.com/?p=2928 ]]> I shared this image on my photography blog last week.  I love it so much, I wanted to share it here as well.

Let’s pause for a few moments…right here…right now.

A word to think about:  REACH

Take two minutes and think about this word.  Use the image below if it helps.  What thoughts emerge?  Emotions?  Memories?  God is with you.  He is here.

These days I am striving to be slow enough inside to “see.”

Miraculous moments happen around me every day.

Am I awake enough to see them?

(From my journal, dated February 2011)

Take a short break from your day and enter into this worship experience.  It is 7 minutes and 29 seconds that will inspire you to “Be Still and Know that He is God.”  Enjoy.

This is longer than I usually like to share – but it is a very meaningful story from a difficult time in my life.

Journal Entry • July 1993

I recently attended a NEWIM meeting.  NEWIM stands for “Network of Evangelical Women in Ministry.”  I thought the NEWIM meeting was going to be some boring meeting where a bunch of busy women got together and talked about more “to do’s.”  And I am in no place to add to my plate.  But I went anyway.

            Once we got there, sat down and heard was Susie Kimes had to say, I realized why I was there.  Susie and one of her board members, Luann, shared that they had gone on a retreat called “Oasis.”  It was a time of being alone with God, praying, and fellowshipping with other women.  This sounds pretty standard.  But in the context of what Susie shared about the last year of her life, it was much deeper than that.

            In October of 1992 Susie burned out.  She shared that she had given her all and was empty.  She was then serving from her emptiness.  Yuck!  She then went the “The Cove,” a Billy Graham retreat center in North Carolina.  During that time she was filled by God in a way she labeled “renewal.”  She realized that she must be filled by God and that her ministry was an overflow of His work in her.  She then encouraged all of us to get away alone with God and get filled so that we may serve from a full heart, not out of our own emptiness.

            WOW!  And I thought I was going to a boring, “let’s get some things done” meeting.  I was so encouraged to hear that the head of NEWIM had found the critical difference between doing stuff for God and God doing stuff in and through us. 

            I was eager to talk with Susie and Luann about their lives.  But after the opening meeting, we were told that during lunch we would break into groups and discuss the various parts of the June 1994 Women’s Retreat with Jill Briscoe and Anne Graham Lotz.  I didn’t know where to sit because I knew I was not going to volunteer for anything.  Where will I be in June 1994?  Anyway, I sat in Susie’s group, hoping to chat, but the conversation was only about registration.

            The after lunch they immediately had a drama presentation.  I thought my chances to talk to Susie and Luann were over.  Little did I know how much the drama would hit me and lead into the very thing I needed. 

            A lady portrayed Miriam (Moses’ sister) on her death bed.  There was also Miriam’s maidservant and a girl who danced during very emotional and symbolic monologues.  It was amazing.  I tried to stuff the tears for about 1/3 of the performance, but at a certain point I could not contain them anymore.  I cried for the rest of the time. 

            Miriam recalled different times of her life.  I will share the three that struck me the most.

            She recalled the final plague of Egypt, the death of all the firstborn.  She said that she could hear the cries and screams of the mothers out in the streets.  She was compelled to open the door and look upon the horror.  When she opened the door she was met with the eyes of a mother holding her dead child.  As Miriam stood in the doorway, she felt a drop of blood hit her forehead.  She was protected by the blood on the doorpost.  This was the point I had to start crying.  The emotion of being a mother and picturing that scene paired with the great price and sacrifice Jesus paid to keep me from death overwhelmed me. 

            I thanked Him for what He did on the cross and how much it cost Him.

            Miriam recalled being out in the desert for so many years and being sick of manna.  They longed for Egypt’s food. 

            I thought of my own yearning for something other than what God is providing.  Even if what He has in the future is better, I still long for the “known” (Egypt) rather than the instability of the “unknown” (desert).  I told God that I didn’t want to be ungrateful and I asked for forgiveness for not graciously accepting what He was providing.

            Miriam recalled her “getting in God’s face” about Moses and how God struck her with leprosy.  She was unclean and was placed outside the camp for seven days. 

            My situation is not the same but the emotions she expressed felt like my own.  Her maidservant tried to encourage her that she was still near the camp and not far away.  Miriam shared how that is the worst of all…to be just outside the camp.  You could hear people talking, laughing, playing.  But no one could touch her, help her, look at her, or even get her water.  She said that “outside the camp” is the loneliest place of all.

            I don’t want to be melodramatic, but in some ways this time of transition feels like we are just outside the camp.  We see people serving and carrying on as usual, but it is not the same for us.  We are not “in the middle of things” anymore.  We don’t know where we are headed. 

            I haven’t really had a good cry since this whole thing started (Alan’s layoff).  This must have been the time to purge.  It sure felt good. 

            Back to Susie.  The drama was over and so was the luncheon.  I thought my chances were over.  Karen, Carol and I were waiting for the restroom when Susie walks up to me, puts her hand on my arm and says, “So, what did you think?”  Well, five words into thanking her for what she shared at the beginning and how the drama had touched me so deeply, I started to cry again.  We spoke for about 10-15 minutes.  I shared with her our journey the last few years and she encouraged me.  Then she introduced me to her friend Jackie who just happened to be visiting that day.  Jackie was a real kindred spirit.  Although she was older and her life situation was different, we shared the same lesson.  He is asking us if He is sufficient, no if, ands or buts.  Things are not based on what we do but who we are.  He is making us real.

            Thank You, again, Lord for Susie and Jackie.  You provided that day for me and I thank You.  You are faithful and I will learn to receive from Your hand graciously.

Recently, my friend, Diane, gave me another great idea for using WORDLE.NET.  She had taken her journal and plugged it into wordle.  So I just took the time to do the same.  I have been journaling since 1990 so I created a wordle for each year’s journal.

Below is the image created by WORDLE.NET for my 1993 journal.  The words are sized according to how many times they were used in the text.  Extraneous words are eliminated.  Since my journal is a place where I process my daily happenings, spiritual life, scripture and prayers, it is no surprise that God is the largest word.

What struck me as I read through the words of this year was the word “Susie” in the top right quadrant of the image.  I couldn’t figure out how a woman I couldn’t remember had her name in such a large font.  So I went back into the journal and searched for her name.  I found a story that I had completely forgotten.  I’ll share the story of Susie in the next couple of blog entries.  It really is a story of God’s grace of meeting me right where I was at the time (29-years-old with a 10-month-old baby and almost three years after my spiritual life had taken on a new light).

Stay tuned…

⁷ My heart is confident in you, O God;
my heart is confident.
No wonder I can sing your praises!
⁸ Wake up, my heart!
Wake up, O lyre and harp!
I will wake the dawn with my song.
⁹ I will thank you, Lord, among all the people.
I will sing your praises among the nations.
¹⁰ For your unfailing love is as high as the heavens.
Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds.

¹¹ Be exalted, O God, above the highest heavens.
May your glory shine over all the earth.

What better way to stay pliable in God’s hands, open to Him and His way?  Remember who He is.  Remind your heart to wake to Him.

A word to think about:  PROCESS

Take two minutes and think about this word.  Use the image below if it helps.  What thoughts emerge?  Any images?  Emotions?  Let God know what’s up.  He is listening.